


Idiots Summon Demons

by Spaghettibopp



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Characters Writing Fanfiction, Demon Summoning, Demons, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, I have a demon AU problem, I want to write one seriously, shitpost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-11-14 00:43:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18042185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spaghettibopp/pseuds/Spaghettibopp
Summary: Natsuki and Sayori have the perfect, flawless plan to get some sweet validation for their fanfiction:Demon summoningNothing could go wrong





	Idiots Summon Demons

The ritual was surprisingly easy to set up. A few candles, some chalk, two poorly-drawn pentagrams, and suddenly Sayori and Natsuki were ready to summon some demons.

"You got the book?" Natsuki's voice rang through the phone. If Sayori listened closely enough, she could almost hear her voice coming from the neighboring classroom; the school was far too quiet after hours, with every creak of wood echoing in the empty halls. Sayori took an unsteady breath and squinted at the paper. "Well...."

"Sayori, you do have the book, right?" Natsuki's voice rose with panic, and Sayori was sure this time that she could hear her in the next room.

"I- well, I kind of? Couldn't find it? But it's alright! I found this great article on wiki, so I just printed the words off from there." She waved the paper through the air, its crinkling noise bouncing against the walls. "It looks legit. The font is super creepy, and all the words look really hard to say."

"Oh my god." There was a slap of skin against skin, and Sayori could just imagine Natsuki's hand colliding with her forehead.

"Just read it."

Clearing her throat, Sayori began to read the words aloud. She took it slow so Natsuki could repeat the phrases after her, both of them pronouncing the words to the best of their abilities. Finally, Sayori spoke the last words on the page; "Advertisement. Categories: Demon Summonings, Rituals. 21 comments. Please log in to post a comment on this wiki." Dutifully, Natsuki echoed the words over the phone before stopping. "Wait, are you sure that's part of the-"

The screen went black, Natsuki's voice fading to a low mumble on the other side of the classroom's wall. Sayori frantically tried to turn the phone back on, but to no avail. The demons she and Nat had summoned must not have wanted an audience. Or she forgot to charge her phone before doing this. Did she? When was the last time she plugged it in? Oh well. The satanic words had been spoken, and now her demon would most certainly appear.

Sure enough, the candles went out, causing the room to descend into moderate darkness. With the full moon outside and the windows on one side of the room, there was still plenty of light for Sayori to see. Plus, if she really needed to, she could just turn the flashlight on her phone on- no wait.

Suddenly, a ring of hellish fire arose from the center of the pentagram. Her first thoughts were somewhere along the lines of _Oh no, oh shit, one of the candles tipped over and it's going to burn the school down._ Those thoughts were silenced as a form began to appear within the flames, looking as if they were forming from the sparks that flickered in the air. Soon enough, the form of a woman appeared, clad in black armor that covered about as much as most female armor in video games. Her fiery green eyes had a devilish glint to them, and- Wait.

"Monika?"

"Sayori?"

Before her hovered the literature club's president and Sayori's long-time crush, Monika. Her hair was even still tied in that oversized bow that Nat liked to make fun of. Suddenly, ignoring the armor that would protect little in a fight was much more difficult. Monika's pale stomach had abs for days, and those thighs were like something from Heaven itself. 

"What are you doing summoning a demon?" Her voice still had that smooth, leader-ly, in-control quality to it, despite being surrounded by fire and having Sayori literally kneeled down in front of her, wiki page sheet in hand. For several moments, Sayori was not sure of what to say. Her mouth opened and closed several times before she found the words to voice her wish.

"I wanted a comment on my latest fan fiction. A good one, like thought-out and stuff."

Beside them, a familiar voice rang through the walls. "YURI, WHAT THE FUCK?!" 

Monika sighed, shaking her head slightly. "Natsuki is in on this too, I'm guessing?" Sayori shook her head at first, then slowly nodded. There was no denying whose voice that was. "Alright. Okay. I'm not- Sayori, I'm not going to take your soul for a fanfic comment. I can just write one for you. You don't even need a demon to do that, you can just ask me during club times." She sighed again, seeming more defeated by the moment. "Is Natsuki asking for something like this too? Please tell me she's asking for something else, like world peace or- No? No. Okay. That's- that's fine." The flames died down until they were just ash on the floor, and Monika lowered herself to the ground. Without all of the effects, she just looked like someone in cosplay. Sayori, however, was still very impressed.

"Could you please not tell anyone else about this?" Sayori nodded, receiving an affectionate head pat in return. "Good girl." Monika made some signs in the air, causing a ring of fire to appear. Reaching through it, she pulled out a duffle bag. "Do you, um. Do you mind closing your eyes for a bit?"

When again Sayori opened her eyes, what greeted her was just Monika in her uniform. No armor, no demonic symbols or candles or anything besides the wiki sheet still in her hand. It was as if it hadn't even happened. Her president just stood there in front of her, a slight blush on her features. Before Sayori could stop herself, she asked, "Don't I still need to give you something? For the comment?" She watched Monika's eyes widen, her blush deepen, and if Sayori wasn't so caught up in her pounding heart, she would smirk in pride at the reaction. 

Before Monika could answer, the door slammed open. 

"Natsuki, you can't just-! A deal is a deal!" Yuri's voice rang from the halls as Natsuki stormed in. 

"I'm not giving my soul to you! You-you- you demon!" It was hardly an insult when, as Sayori realized when Yuri walked in, it was the truth. Instead of fantasy armor, however, she wore clothes of a past period. Sayori did not know what era they were, but with the corset and lace, she guessed somewhere in the somewhat distant past. Maybe. It certainly wasn't a baggy T-shirt and shorts, like what she was wearing.

"Sayori, we're going!" Natsuki glared at Monika, as if she had anything to do with the deal her and Yuri had apparently made. Grabbing Sayori by her arm, she tried to lift her up, but only managed half-dragging her across the room. "Get up! We're leaving!" She tried to drag Sayori to the door, but Yuri blocked her path.

"Natsuki, you and I made a deal! If you were not intending on going through with it, then you should not have summoned a demon!" A fire started somewhere underneath her, making her long face appear to glow with rage. The shorter girl dropped Sayori, but stood her ground.

"How was I supposed to know _you_ would be the demon I summoned?! All I wanted was a kudos-"

"Just a kudos?!" Sayori and Monika gasped in horror.

"-but I would rather die than ask for one from the likes of you!" It sounded like a challenge.

Sayori looked to Monika with worry. It most certainly sounded like a challenge.

Yuri's fire flared up. Oh, she would definitely take that as a challenge.

"Fine then. If that's what you want." Before the others could stop her, Yuri lifted Natsuki up by her shirt, and-

Kissed her?

Sayori looked to Monika. Monika looked to Sayori. They both looked back to the two arch enemy club members. 

"Let's just- let's just go."

Without much fanfare, Monika summoned another hellish portal, this time big enough for two. She offered her hand to Sayori.

"Okay." She took her hand and lifted herself up with the leverage. Not letting go, she walked with Monika into the portal, and out the other side. It was as if they had walked through a door that went from the classroom to her own room. After turning the lights on, Monika moved to where Sayori's laptop was and input the password. _And wait how does she-_ "I'm a demon, sweetie." She looked back to flash a smile at her before opening up Sayori's Archive of Our Own account. "Let's see ... your newest fan fiction...."

Sayori was starting to regret her decision. Monika was about to read her fan fiction, and if it sucked, she could not blame it on being really old. Heaven knows she wanted _someone_ to read it, but she was an inconsistent author and she was really not that good, and oh god Monika was her _crush_ and a _writer_ and nothing she said could possibly be good because Sayori is terrible at writing and she never uploads or finishes anything and-

"Done!" Monika cheerfully posted the comment as a guest.

"Oh."

"Hmm?" She wheeled around in the chair to face her. "Is something wrong?" Sayori gulped, scratching the back of her neck. "Nonono, I just. It really wasn't that good and I shouldn't have made you read it-"

"Sayori. It was fine. There was a lot that can be worked on, but overall, it was good." She smiled sweetly. "Now, about the payment...." Slowly, she stood up and made her way to Sayori. Leaning in close, she whispered, "I'm free Saturday. Maybe we could go watch a movie together?" Remembering to breathe, Sayori nodded. "Good. I'll see you around five then? Maybe we can get a bite to eat afterwards." Except everyone knew that if you bought popcorn at the movies, you would not be hungry afterwards. Still, maybe they could go for some milkshakes or something. That sounded nice.

"A-alright! That sounds grood, I mean gate, I mean gay, I mean-" She took a breath and tried to channel her inner Yuri. She always had a way with words. "Yes. That sounds like an acceptable arrangement." Monika giggled.

"Grood. See you then." She winked and opened another portal. Sayori was not sure where this one might lead to, but she figured that was one of the many questions she could ask on Saturday.

Sighing dreamily, Sayori collapsed on the bed, thinking gay thoughts.

Meanwhile, Natsuki, breathless from making out with Yuri, realized that Sayori had left her at the dark school all alone, and her summoned demon had left without even offering to portal her home. It was going to be a long walk back.

But, upon checking her phone, she smiled as she realized that she had received a kudos on her 100 word fanfic analyzing the relationships between the different members of Parfait Girls. In fact, she had gotten a comment as well. Opening up the comments section, she nearly shook with excited energy.

"Yuri on Chapter 1  
Cute."

Natsuki was going to kill that demon.

**Author's Note:**

> I would say Sayori's writing experience is based off mine, except that I think this is just the universal feeling of all fanfic writers. This is not a complaint about comments either, because I'm fortunate enough to get some amazing ones, but I found the idea written down in my notes that "Sayori sells her soul to Monika for one (1) comment on her fanfiction. Natsuki sells her soul to Yuri for a single kudos" and wanted to write a crackfic based on it.  
> Plus writing in a non-serious way helps with writing anxiety.


End file.
